Harry's Self-Appraisement: Thumbs Down!

My self-education has been unfocused. I've read a lot
of criticism, humor, and novels that alleviated my sense
of loneliness, but very little in the way of hard
suggestions as to how life should be lived. As a
result I've been able to get away with living a very
chaotic and inconsistent life, with an ever-rearranging
conscience that that fails to tell me whether my actions
are right or wrong. Sometimes I feel excessive guilt
over transgressions that are probably insignificant,
yet other times I weasel out of accepting blame for
situations in which I was clearly in the wrong. I have
justified my dissolute lifestyle by relying on the
pro-drug rhetoric of authors like Hunter S. Thompson,
John Dolan, Mark Ames, and Charles Bukowski, yet
there is no denying that drugs and alcohol make me
dumb, mean, clouded, incontinent, and confused.
I have avoided athletics out of some deep insecurity
and self-consciousness, despite the fact that I love them.
I write pieces that are essentially pointless and show-offy,
because I have a bottomless need for approval and
positive feedback. I try to impress everyone I meet,
regardless of whether their personalities have any value;
If I was stuck on a bus next to Charles Manson, I would
be cracking jokes and worrying whether he liked me.

I eat too much meat.