A Brewski For Youski

I don't give money to panhandlers. After moving
to San Francisco you quickly realize that you will
lose all your money if you give street people change.
I need my change, for the same reason the street
people need it: malt liquor.

However, last night I broke my own rule because a
homeless African-American man said to me, "Hey man, I'm
just trying to get a nickel for a brewski." I was so
enchanted by his use of this outdated slang that I gave
him all the change in my pocket.

So you see, the key to getting me involved in
charitable causes is to use weird words that nobody uses
anymore. Maybe they say "brewski" in Manitoba a lot,
but I don't think it's been heard in Northern California
since a 1985 Stanford University frat party. Well played,
homeless man. Well played.

Perhaps I will take an interest in Darfur if somebody
describes the situation there as "Applesauce."