Girl: Hi there.
Boy: What the fuck is your deal?
Girl: I saw the glowering masturbator
with his ass crack showing and I thought,
"I want to be a part of that."
Boy: Are you listening to these people?
They're talking about the copper sculptures
they're making for their senior theses.
Girl: You hate art too?
Boy: You seem lonely and damaged. I can
tell because you're talking to me.
Girl: I'm a grad student.
Boy: You're a fucking academic. You're part of
the problem. You take everything that's interesting
and cool about the world and beat it to death.
Girl: So what do you do to earn your oxygen on
this rock?
Boy: I'm a forklift driver.
Girl: Really?
Boy: No. I work in a warehouse but the forklift
drivers hate me. They have their own enclosure
with a TV and Marilyn Monroe posters.
Girl: I'm bored.
Boy: Let's go to your place.
Girl: Alright. I'm parked around the corner.
Boy: Jesus, you have a driver's license? Bring the
Aston Martin at once, double-oh-seven.
Girl: You don't have a driver's license?
Boy: Shut up and load me into the backseat,
Roger Moore.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Change
Have you ever felt an urge to throw all your books
out the fucking window?
No, that's a bit extreme. You can return to a book and
discover new things. Books have replay value.
What about video games? Isn't it time to part with that
Super Nintendo? It was magical when you were seven.
Now you're 23.
Leave it. Put it in a box in your Nana's closet, if you must.
If you don't change, then what's the point of you?
It's a sad thing.
Am I just being an asshole?
out the fucking window?
No, that's a bit extreme. You can return to a book and
discover new things. Books have replay value.
What about video games? Isn't it time to part with that
Super Nintendo? It was magical when you were seven.
Now you're 23.
Leave it. Put it in a box in your Nana's closet, if you must.
If you don't change, then what's the point of you?
It's a sad thing.
Am I just being an asshole?
My job
I work for a shipping company in a big warehouse in
Hayward, California.
The rear wall of the warehouse is lined with large metal
gates, which were formerly used for loading and unloading train
cars which pulled up right next to the building. At some point
this mode of transport was abandoned, and the train tracks
outside the warehouse are now rusty and forlorn. I've examined
the rotting railroad ties and rusty spikes and thought of the
Chinese workers who bridged the continent with these things,
thus allowing the further westward migration of pale Germanic
tribes.
My job can be grueling, but it beats school. Jesus Christ, I'd
rather eat glass for minimum wage than do homework again.
Hayward, California.
The rear wall of the warehouse is lined with large metal
gates, which were formerly used for loading and unloading train
cars which pulled up right next to the building. At some point
this mode of transport was abandoned, and the train tracks
outside the warehouse are now rusty and forlorn. I've examined
the rotting railroad ties and rusty spikes and thought of the
Chinese workers who bridged the continent with these things,
thus allowing the further westward migration of pale Germanic
tribes.
My job can be grueling, but it beats school. Jesus Christ, I'd
rather eat glass for minimum wage than do homework again.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
10 Things That Happen When School Begins.....
1. Six or more hours a day are spent horizontal on the couch watching any and all Halloween or Friday the 13th films.
2. Going outside and getting a bit of exercise, by which I mean walking to the corner store for some smokes.
3. Endless cups of coffee and/or black tea.
4. Thoughts of things that I'd like to do someday, all of which could be accomplished at that very moment (IE blogging/writing more, teaching myself to play guitar, exercising, or reading whatever book is sitting on the table beside me.)
5. Masturbation (Friday night specials every day of the week! It's no longer confined to just Fridays or nights.)
6. Anxiety over what will occur in the future, while contributing absolutely nothing to the moment at hand.
7. Changing into my jammies and hoody before lunchtime. (I hate when it's time to wash them and I need to remain in jeans and a t-shirt during horizontal couch time.)
8. Taking 2 hour baths while the sun is shining outside.
9. Lethargy. Blurred vision. Excessive internet.
10. Interest in Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Kanye songs, all of which are listened to with my eyes closed, horizontal. That's how they're meant to be heard, right?
2. Going outside and getting a bit of exercise, by which I mean walking to the corner store for some smokes.
3. Endless cups of coffee and/or black tea.
4. Thoughts of things that I'd like to do someday, all of which could be accomplished at that very moment (IE blogging/writing more, teaching myself to play guitar, exercising, or reading whatever book is sitting on the table beside me.)
5. Masturbation (Friday night specials every day of the week! It's no longer confined to just Fridays or nights.)
6. Anxiety over what will occur in the future, while contributing absolutely nothing to the moment at hand.
7. Changing into my jammies and hoody before lunchtime. (I hate when it's time to wash them and I need to remain in jeans and a t-shirt during horizontal couch time.)
8. Taking 2 hour baths while the sun is shining outside.
9. Lethargy. Blurred vision. Excessive internet.
10. Interest in Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Kanye songs, all of which are listened to with my eyes closed, horizontal. That's how they're meant to be heard, right?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Fuck The Moon.
I've been making these Industrial songs
on my new digital four-track recorder. Most of them have
gone well, until my roommate took back the earbuds I borrowed
from his girlfriend. This night, under the light of what seems
like a full-ish moon, I tried to record this song onto my
four-track, but it didn't work because of the earbuds issue. So I'll just
reprint the lyrics:
Tonight
I flipped off the moon
I gave the finger
to the moon
Go fuck yourself,
moon
on my new digital four-track recorder. Most of them have
gone well, until my roommate took back the earbuds I borrowed
from his girlfriend. This night, under the light of what seems
like a full-ish moon, I tried to record this song onto my
four-track, but it didn't work because of the earbuds issue. So I'll just
reprint the lyrics:
Tonight
I flipped off the moon
I gave the finger
to the moon
Go fuck yourself,
moon
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Dennis Duffy Alibi
In one episode of the brilliant sitcom 30 Rock, Tina Fey's character comes home to her apartment in the middle of the day to find her loser ex-boyfriend sitting on her couch. She yells, "What are you doing here?" and he responds, "Look, I told my mom I got a job, so I've been coming here during the day."
Harry Sterling would like to admit to a certain loved one that for a period of time when he was supposed to be attending community college, he was actually going to the mall and watching movies. That is why I know the plot details of "Hannibal Rising" and that movie where Chris Cooper and Ryan Phillippe are CIA agents. I'm sorry.
Harry Sterling would like to admit to a certain loved one that for a period of time when he was supposed to be attending community college, he was actually going to the mall and watching movies. That is why I know the plot details of "Hannibal Rising" and that movie where Chris Cooper and Ryan Phillippe are CIA agents. I'm sorry.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I hate sleep.
It's 2:12 am. Last night I stayed up and took an 8:00am train to the Oakland
Coliseum. I was bored, and I wanted to see a baseball game. I bought a ticket
and lied down in the Coliseum parking lot and dozed off for a while. Eventually I came to,
and the stadium gates opened. I bought a seven-dollar hot dog and as I sat down
to watch batting practice, I realized that I hate the Oakland A's. Those yellow and
green idiots. I left.
I still don't want to sleep. Sleep is surrender. I want to continue
thinking and existing. I don't want to spend half my life unconscious,
Insanity: bring it on.
Coliseum. I was bored, and I wanted to see a baseball game. I bought a ticket
and lied down in the Coliseum parking lot and dozed off for a while. Eventually I came to,
and the stadium gates opened. I bought a seven-dollar hot dog and as I sat down
to watch batting practice, I realized that I hate the Oakland A's. Those yellow and
green idiots. I left.
I still don't want to sleep. Sleep is surrender. I want to continue
thinking and existing. I don't want to spend half my life unconscious,
Insanity: bring it on.
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